Young married couple Kathryn & Jeremy Mathis had a tough call to make when their son Coy just starting kindergarten kept asking them when he could go to the doctors to become a girl. They were already used to Coy dressing up in his sister’s clothes and refusing to even leave the house if they tried to insist on either making him wear boys clothes or getting his wear his hair cut short. For Kathryn who was brought up a Christian Scientist who abhor doctors in general, taking to Coy to a Psychiatrist to receive a diagnosis of gender dysphoria was a monumental step, but once the family had taken it, they accepted that they now had another daughter.
Kathryn & Jeremy are also parents to triplets and an autistic child and the family live in Fountain a small conservative town in Colorado. The State however has a Law that prohibits any discrimination against any transgender person, so when Coy’s elementary school refused to allow her to use the girl’s bathroom, they decide to sue the School Authorities. The year is 2013 and this will be one of the very first ever legal challenges to specifically address transgender bathroom rights.
Filmmaker Eric Juhola starts this documentary just six weeks before the family, supported by Michael Silverman, executive director of the Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund, went public with their decision to go to court. It is one thing for parents to privately accept and support their child’s transition which takes a great deal of soul-searching and love, but it is a totally other thing for them to then share that with a battery of media effectively publicly ‘outing’ their child for life. What strikes one from this is the inner strength of Kathryn in particular, married at just aged 17 years old, already coping with demands of a disabled child, and now homeschooling all her children who she had withdrawn from school after their treatment of Coy.
Now as they wait for the court case to be decided they have to deal with the very full glare of constant publicity with their house being constantly invaded by television crews from all over the world as the story appeals to a global public. Not all of it is positive and the Mathis family must also face a barrage of some very hostile and downright hate-filled abuse. As there is no accountability for all the loose cannons who vent such vitriol and anger, they are sitting targets for undisguised transphobia. What is particular disquieting is all the ranting against Coy …. and most transgender kids ….. is never about their well-being, or their gender dysphoria, it is without exception always centered on the genitalia which they obviously very unhealthily consider, the be-and-end-all of life.
The pressure on Coy starts to show as she shrinks away from wanting to perform for the cameras. and even more so on Kathryn and Jeremy’s marriage and they eventually decide to legally separate.
What strikes one most is the Mathias’s conviction, which even though it wavers at time under the intense public pressure, they fundamentally know that this is unquestionably the right course of action to safeguard their daughter’s future. Although this will not be the last battle that she will have to deal with regarding her transition, they feel it will at least empower her to always fight for her rights.
The director of the Colorado Civil Rights Commission denounced the Mathias for taking their fight to a public arena and insisted that problems such as theirs should be dealt with behind closed doors. He is of course totally wrong, and is part of an dated and obstructive system whose very presence will always greatly impinge on any progress in establishing much needed protocols and the rights of the transgender community.
Now three years later after the Mathias won their court case in a landmark decision, there is an even greater need for greater vigilance and and action as states like North Carolina seek to defy President Obama’s ruling that insists that all transgender kids have the legal right to use the bathroom of their choice.
Juhola’s compelling documentary on this remarkable refreshingly open and very brave family ends on a happy note for them all, which they so truly deserve. The film itself is an important contribution to the continuing dialogue that society needs to keep evolving with the transgender community in general, and kids in particular.
Labels: 2016, documentary, transgender
