My Son’s A Queer (But What Can You Do?) ★★★★
Ambassadors Theatre, London

A creeping horror comes upon the audience about 2 mins into Rob Madge’s My Son’s A Queer (But what can you do?). After being lulled by the title into thinking it’s going to be a tale as old as time about growing up gay in a homophobic world a terrible realization begins. It’s not. It’s about the intersection of two of our collective worst nightmares. It’s about a stage kid. Who is an only child. But don’t worry, in the motto of the gay coming-of-age story you were hoping for, it gets better. By the end of this one hour one person show everyone was wishing for their own singular little bundle of precocious joy.

From the earliest age, Rob wants to be the star of the show. They begin by putting on a Disney Parade for their grandmother, where they plays all the characters, not just the boy parts like Mickey Mouse but also Ariel from the Little Mermaid and Belle from Beauty & the Beast. Their requirements are exacting. They want proper scripting, and full technical and dress rehearsals. And, of course, spectacular special effects. Nothing makes them happier than raiding Woolworths for wigs, and if none are available, having them made from scratch from wool. Then just when they gets older they begin to notice a shift. The imagination that was celebrated in him as a young child begins to be a source of discomfort for their teachers and the other kids. They starts to get beaten by the boys at school. For a long period, they tries to fit in, but eventually, their true self won’t be hidden. “If the teacher says you’re dramatic, go with it. Build your own theatre”

A kid can’t build their own theatre alone though. And this is where the show hits its real stride. While Rob is staging their Disney parade there is one other person building the props, helping with the stunts, and of course, filming it. It’s their Dad. And when Rob is told to stop spending all their time pretending to be Cinderella in the imaginative play area in the classroom, their grandparents build them a little home theatre booth complete with puppets of their favourite characters and a wonderful red curtain that shields them from the outside world. 

My Sons A Queer is not the familiar but narcissistic gay coming-of-age story about the triumph of the individual over society. Rather than showing what parents do wrong, it celebrates how it can be done right. It is an ode to good parenting and what it means to show your child love. Rob spends an hour trying to show it but their father supplies a single quote that sums it all up  “If  the only job of a parent is to help their child be the person they want to be, that’s a pretty easy job”

The story is told in the form of songs, old VHS video clips, and report cards from school. Madge (who is both writer and performer), under the direction of Luke Sheppard, is able to flip from the innocent but necessarily grating demands of the perfectionist child to the adult with the revealing chinks of vulnerability. We learn they truly is his parents’ child.  It’s a touching journey from me, me, me to us, us, us.