GUYMART ★★★★
KINGS HEAD THEATRE, LONDON
Arriving on the high heels of Grindr the Opera’s reincarnation (https://queerguru.com/queergurus-andrew-hebden-enjoys-the-gay-guilty-pleasure-of-grindr-the-opera/ comes George Lacey’s GuyMart, a less symbolic and musically aspirational take on the gay dating game. However, GuyMart has a bigger heart and where it needs to be is much more capable of drawing a tear.
GuyMart is the evolution beyond the gay hookup apps. The ultimate ass end of commercial capitalism. Men are available in the aisles with a barcode, a price tag, and a definite Use By date. Its picky punters can peruse their category of choice. There are aisles for twinks, nerds, bears, otters, masc, DL, jocks, daddies, and of course XXL. All fronted by a Customer Service team who need to sell and resell as much as possible to get their bonuses.
Matt (Finn Whelan), is disappointed and desperate, as a last option he decides to become part of the GuyMart inventory in the hope that he will find his one true love. At first, he blows it. Too eager to secure something more than just sex Matt asks for more than his customers are willing to give. He is quickly sent back under GuyMart’s very flexible return policy. A series of doomed and damaging dates follow. Matt is in despair. As he is about to quit, he meets a new customer, Joe (Viktor Antonov). Joe is everything he has been looking for. Matt and Joe fall for each other, go on a series of perfect dates which ends with a proposal from Joe. But the rush of feelings also brings Matt flashbacks to the barely consensual episodes with other customers. Matt is left trying to decide whether he feels himself worthy of Joe, though clearly Joe accepts all of him as he is.
GuyMart launches with a camp, fizzy absurdity. The Customer Service team set the jaunty tone with a lively opening number of Its Called GuyMart, introducing the basic premise of the show. The double entendres squirt from all directions. It could all have been mere satire and comedy. However, the skirting with consent and Matt’s eventual breakdown slice through all the merry ribbons, delivering emotional heart not just comedic meat.
While the singing is not always West End ready the cast own it and make it work. Finn Whelan conjures Matt’s vulnerability and the rest of the cast deliver characters that ably flip between their corporate roles and their submerged humanity. It’s not a grand or a big production but it does have simple and touching truths at its core.
Review by ANDREW HEBDENQueerguru Contributing Editor ANDREW HEBDEN is a MEDIA & CULTURAL STUDIES graduate spending his career between London, Beijing, and NYC as an expert in media and social trends. As part of the expanding minimalist FIRE movement, he recently returned to the UK and lives in Soho. He devotes as much time as possible to the movies, theatre, and the gym. His favorite thing is to try something (anything) new every day”
