Living as an LGBTQ+ person could be difficult, even in most developed countries, even when you’re young. When you are older, complications may multiply.
From coming out and finding support, new friends, and love interests to growing old and handling partnerships all the way to finding the right medical help for you and even making a will, you will probably need some help. This is why many organizations, doctors, and websites, are there to make it a bit easier for you. It is just a matter of finding the right ones for your individual needs.
What are some of the issues that LGBTQ+ seniors run into?
When you are coming out as a middle-aged or a senior person, congratulations are in order. Although it is considered very brave and you may resolve many problems, some complications will probably occur.
You may be in a middle of a heterosexual marriage, you might have children, maybe your parents are there. Also, you would have to have understanding colleagues, employers, and friends. If you are a transgender person, then you also have to find doctors and medical services that are not making the transition process more complicated and slower than it already is.
Because of all of these components and impediments, it is advised to make a concrete plan to pass through that period as smoothly as possible and keep your mental health stable.
If you are already out and living openly as an LGBTQ+ senior, you have to think about keeping all these things we listed in order and spending your old age peacefully, whether you have a long-time partner or not.
Therefore, we present some tips to conquer both stages efficiently.
1. Be in contact with LGBTQ+ organizations and websites
In any developed (and some developing) country, there are usually a few (if not a lot of) private organizations and some state-run ones that work with LGBTQ+ people in one way or another. They exist to solve problems considering practical things like job findings, lawsuits (if you have any problems at your current job or a medical institution), family mediating, social gatherings, and providing help with medical issues, whether it concerns physical or mental health.
There are also many websites that offer information on all of these things and also provide chatrooms and forums, etc.
2. Choose the best care for your physical and mental health
Many seniors are becoming more untrustworthy towards medical institutions over time and some refuse to visit a doctor completely. But, in old age, medical help becomes more important than ever.
If you are dealing with physical or mental health issues as an LGBTQ+ person, you might have even more concerns about seeking help than others. The same goes for very important issues like going to a senior facility and finding a death doula when the time comes.
Many LGBTQ+ seniors experience going back into “the closet” when they go to a home, fearing prejudice from caregivers and fellow seniors living there. Fortunately, today, we have lots of resources for finding the right place and the right caretakers, doctors, and ways to express oneself all the way to those final moments.
3. Connect with other LGBTQ+ seniors
Loneliness is something that is becoming an international epidemic, amongst young and older people equally. When you are an older LGBTQ+ citizen, it may be even worse. This is where connecting with similar individuals becomes immensely important. There are clubs, different social gatherings, and websites to find people who share your destiny. Whether you deal with a lack of support from your family or not, you need friends. Unfortunately, some heterosexual friends may find it difficult to accept you once you come out, but there are a lot of LGBTQ+ seniors which will welcome you with open arms. Who knows, maybe your life partner is just a click away, waiting for someone just like you on a website or at a bar table. Just be courageous and true to yourself and it’s all there.
You are not alone
This sentence is often used, but not overused because it’s true. If you need help with coming out, mediating family problems, going through transition, taking care of your ill partner, or spending some peaceful time in a senior home, it is all there. Seek recourses and you will find them. The most important thing is to make a strong decision, and courage will be produced.
QUEERGURU Lifestyle Editor PETER MINKOFF is a gay health and lifestyle writer at QUEER VOICES magazine. Besides writing, he worked as a freelance fashion stylist in Europe and Australia. A true craft beer and soy latte aficionado, he loves spending his days at the beach and visiting second hand stores on a daily basis. Follow Peter on TWITTER for more tips.
