Mickey and Richard is the intimate portrayal of Mickey Squires, the legendary 1980s Colt model and porn actor, real name Richard Bernstein. Now in his 70s, and told in his own, very honest words, Mickey and Richard reveal how the reality behind a persona is often very different from what we’d expect, an interesting study in these times of social media perfection. The film examines the highs and lows of his life, Bernstein’s internal conflict between being Mickey and Richard, and takes us on a journey from San Francisco, LA, New York, and Palm Springs from the 1970s to the present day, via modelling, porn, escorting, drug addiction, HIV, low self-esteem and loneliness. It’s a life many will relate to.

Born in 1951, the third child in a busy household, Bernstein grew up as a weedy, nerdy child, often alone, feeling like Cinderella to his two athletic older brothers, who largely ignored him. As a teenager, he gradually found himself through drama and choir, and at UCLA even succeeded as a cheerleader in an all-black troupe. He came out in the early 1970s and moved to San Francisco in 1975, where he started working out, quickly blossoming and becoming the leader of the pack in the burgeoning Castro queer scene. By then, he looked amazing, a rugged, yet approachable, clone with perfect pecs. The gay Marlboro Man. Cinderella had become a stud! He partied hard for a few years – too hard – as he eventually lost his sales job with Warner Brothers, and ended up moving back to LA. There, around the age of 30, he started his modelling and porn career, quickly rising to the top of the industry as his alter ego Mickey Squires. He didn’t particularly enjoy his porn career, but it paid the bills and enabled the shy, insecure Bernstein to hide behind his confident alter-ego Mickey. He supplemented his income with escorting, spent time living in New York, and developed a drug and steroid habit. A long-term partner, Dan, also a porn actor/escort with a drug and steroid habit, was in the picture too. Theirs was a chaotic relationship which eventually imploded, leading to Bernstein to move back home with his mother, quit the industry, and work in hotels. By the early 1990s, he was broke, high, and lonely, with no friends. The mid 90s saw him briefly back in porn, for the money, and to meet people, before a 1996 HIV diagnosis and illness saw him quit porn for good. The past few decades, apart from a period hosting queer porn/muscle events, have seen him live a quiet life, working in hotels and senior care in Palm Springs, where he lives alone.

Directed by Ryan A White and A P Pickle through their Wohler Films vehicle, Mickey and Richard is a sincere, candid account of a fully-lived life. Bernstein is a generous, unguarded participant, detailing the internal conflict between his two lives. This will give comfort to many, who will realise they are probably not missing out on too much by not being a super-buff porn actor. The contrast between fantasy and reality is huge, particularly the perception of community around that world which often isn’t really there. It’s an interesting study on how the passage of time can take us from youthful career highs to our older selves, where most elder lives with ageing bodies are fairly similar. White and Pickle have shot most of the film on grainy black and white 16mm film, a format that works, interwoven with great vintage footage and imagery of Bernstein both socially and in his films. The footage is cleverly matched to reflect Bernstein’s narration. There are copious amounts of sex. Someone needs to go through Bernstein’s amazing personal photography collection – there’s a book in there for sure. Mickey and Richard will make you want to care for Bernstein. Good luck, Mister.

 5/5