David Pevsner’s book Damn Shame – A Memoir of Desire, Defiance and Show Tunes
is exactly that. We join him on a conversational romp through New York and LA’s theatrical, gay sex and activism worlds from the 1980s to the present day.
Born in 1958 into a middle-class Jewish family in suburban Chicago, Pevsner grew up a shy skinny boy/man, ashamed of his body and his sexuality. Drawn into the world of theatre he gradually built up his confidence and his body from his twenties onwards. By the late 1980s had transformed himself into a hot, very sex-positive, Chelsea muscle guy actor-songwriter, regularly performing on and off Broadway, as well as in the bedrooms of countless fellow buff New Yorkers. The younger Pevsner could not have imagined that one day he would have iconic Fire Island photographer Tom Bianchi clamoring to take nude photographs of him, or that he would have been accepted into the legendary elite ‘Carter’s NY Prime’ sex parties.
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This is a thought-provoking, passionate, no holds barred story of how both high self-esteem/narcissism and low self-esteem shape our lives, especially our sex lives, particularly as queer people. It’s an analysis of our quest for validation. It’s also a tale of evolution, following one’s gut instincts, and living one’s truest sex life without regard for societal ‘norms’ or traditions. Often funny as well as poignant, Pevsner’s chronicles about his acting and songwriting career are interesting but it’s the detail about his sex life that make this book special. Pevsner’s sex journey takes him from the bars and gyms of 1980s Chelsea and Greenwich Village, through to the leather bars of the West Side Highway, onto a successful and eventful second 10-year career in NY and LA as an escort from age 36, as well as an erotic model from his twenties through to the present day in his 60’s. During this 40-year period, Pevsner has fought society’s (and the queer community’s) pre-conceived notions of gay sex, body shaming, and ageism. He’s been on his own journey regarding these subjects too, for many years only wanting sex with other young buff guys, although interestingly, his only long-term romantic relationship has been with a man who was skinny. His current work promoting sex positivity in older men and fighting ageism within the queer community is probably the most important work of his life, so it’s good to see that he seems to have as much energy as ever.
Highly recommended.
Damn Shame A MEMOIR OF DESIRE, DEFIANCE, AND SHOW TUNES By David Pevsner Penguin Random House
Queerguru’s Contributing Editor Ris Fatah is a successful fashion/luxury business consultant (when he can be bothered) who divides and wastes his time between London and Ibiza. He is a lover of all things queer, feminist, and human rights in general. @ris.fatah
Labels: 2023, DAMN SHAME – A Memoir of Desire, David Pesvner, Defiance and Show Tunes’, memoir, NSFW, nudity, review, Ris Fatah
Being gray does not mean you dont have a sex life.