My deepest condolences to Kylie Minogue. No dear reader this is not the latest Covid Catastrophe but rather the swift commercial death of the Antipodean Pop Princess latest single; Say Something. It’s the first single from her forthcoming album Disco but only entered the Official UK Singles Charts at number 82 and has promptly dropped straight out after only one week.
How Kylie must seethe (in a daytime TV- friendly kind of way obvs!) at the new generation of artists such as Taylor Swift (3 x simultaneous top 40 singles and a number 1 album) or even the fresh crop of upstart newcomers such as Dua Lipa with no less than three singles in the top 100. That’s her (petite) crown they are wearing!
Part of the problem is that the new album is called Disco and this is not really disco…your expectations have been toyed with before you hear it. The PR photos are all diamante drop earrings and lip gloss but this song just doesn’t transport you to Studio 54. In terms of dance tracks it’s a sloth-like 107 beats per minute (which is way down on your average dance track at 130 beats per minute). That might be “the trend nowadays“ but it doesn’t force you on to the dance floor and make your pelvis twitch like a maniac as any good disco track should.
The lyrics are heartfelt, however, and contain a remarkably pertinent sentiment in our post lockdown lives “We’re a million miles apart in a thousand ways…Cause love is love, it never ends. Can we all be as one again?”
One thing you should never do is write off Kylie – an LGBTQ ally long before that term was invented. She has a fearsome work ethic and has had more ups and downs than a kangaroo on a trampoline. The first miraculous rising from the dead moment was with Spinning Around in 2000 from the album “Light Years” with all its gold hot pants glory. The follow up album Fever with its lead single “Can’t Get You Out of my Head” fed on from that success and even eclipsed it by selling a phenomenal 6 million copies worldwide. It would be another couple of albums until she scored another UK Number 1 album with Aphrodite and its accompanying top grossing tour complete with water fountains and a flying Minogue. Her last album Golden also charted at number 1 but drew a mixed critical reception for its Country vibe.
So here we are in 2020 waiting with (slightly less than) bated breath for Disco after having listened to Say Something. All is not lost if she hands this track over to the genius remixers of the moment such as F9, Horse Meat Disco or Purple Disco Machine. It has a good strong melody and Kylie’s vocals are stunning and as helium powered as ever – it just needs a whole load of oomph and a scattering of sequins to go with that lip gloss. Say Something is unfortunately not another Lazarus moment for Kylie – close, but no cigar.
REVIEW : JONNY WARD
Jonny Ward, Queerguru Contributing EDITOR is a drama graduate but has worked backstage for many years at venues such as The ROYAL ALBERT Hall, The 02, Southbank Centre and is currently at The NATIONAL THEATRE. He lives in Hoxton, London and is delighted to check out the latest, the hottest and the downright dodgy in queer culture for Queerguru. (P.S. He is currently single) @JonnyWard360
