Feeling Afraid as If Something Terrible is About to Happen is a winkingly clever play, by Marcelo Dos Santos, about the nature and neediness of comedians. Slyly disguised as a one-man stand-up show delivered by the Comedian (Samuel Barnett) it’s a zipline through neurosis, self-sabotage, and shame directed by Matthew Xia
The Comedian is conflicted. He is out there looking for ‘the one’ while at the same time constantly getting through one, or sometimes two, a day via a gay hookup app. So is he looking for ‘the one’, or just one more? He has sex, he has dates, but they tend to be bad sex and bad dates. Which, of course, means he has a constant flow of anecdotes for his stand-up show. Is he looking for love or just material?
It’s well-known comedy is part of the armory of gay men. Building from the assumption that people might dislike you for who you are then the challenge becomes to proactively defend yourself with witty barbs that make people think twice before they attack you – or just make them damn like you through laughter. The Comedian radiates both.
The genius of Dos Santos is in the creation of an unseen character, the American Boyfriend, who brings out all of the Comedian’s issues because of one simple fact, the American Boyfriend cannot laugh. If he does, because of a rare condition, he might die. Other than that he is perfect. He is handsome, caring, evolved, and able to really see the Comedian for who he is, right into his very soul. The Comedian loves him with all his heart, except that, of course, he really wants to make him laugh, he needs to make him laugh, he fantasizes about making him laugh. Yes, he fantasizes about killing his almost-perfect boyfriend.
Barnett’s presentation of the Comedian is breathless. And relentless. A manic manifestation of the selfish, the self-hating and the self-sabotaging. All enveloped in a troubled but yearning vulnerability. The lines frequently come a little too fast for something that’s clever enough to warrant savoring but the embodiment seeps authenticity. Another nice ploy from Dos Santos is to have the Comedian mimic a few of his peer stand-up comedians to provide alternate types of comedy and refresh the characters.
While the play can be watched simply as a stand-up show it works much better as an observation of comedy and comedians, satisfyingly it is about why they are, not just who they are.
Queerguru Contributing Editor ANDREW HEBDEN is a MEDIA and cultural STUDIES graduate spending his career between London, Beijing, and NYC as an expert in media and social trends. As part of the expanding minimalist FIRE movement, he recently returned to the UK and lives in Soho. He devotes as much time as possible to the movies, theatre, and the gym. His favorite thing is to try something (anything) new every day”
