Goodbye Mother is one of those cases of don’t judge a Book (or in this case movie) but its cover. Having wrongly assumed that this was a straightforward story of a closeted gay man taking a boyfriend home to Vietnam for the first time, and being forced to choose between his conservative family, or the new love of his life. It surprisingly had more depth dealing with the whole ramifications of a extended family still coping with the changes brought about by the ending of the Vietnam war.
This is a very impressive debut feature by filmmaker Trinh Dinh Le Minh that starts when Nâu Vân (Lãnh Thanh) comes back to visit his family. He has been living in the US for a number of years and is here to attend his dead father’s memorial ceremony. He is accompanied by his ‘friend’ and room mate Ian (Võ Điền Gia Huy) who he had failed to mention to anyone.
Whilst Nâu is back home his mother (Hong Dao) wants to pressure him to make plans to marry and take over as the head of the family. She is encouraged by her sisters and their families who also live on the family compound. As does the family matriarch Nâu’s grandmother (Nsut Le Thien) who has dementia so actually mistakes Ian as her first grandson.
Nâu is desperate to tell the real nature of their relationship but at the same time he sets his alarm clock every night to ensure he can climb back into his own bed before the family rises. Whilst it seems like his mother’s maternal instincts may have sussed out the truth, his grandmother has definitely worked it all out. She may be losing her faculties, but she still sees the truth and discusses it openly with Ian (still thinking he is Nau)
All the time the two young men discuss both the pain of living far from home plus the difficulties of coming out as gay in a still very traditional Vietnamese society. The only thing they are sure of is each other.
Nau’s family has its own problems with one of the alcoholic cousins stealing from the family business, and an angry Aunt involved in some fraudulent dealings that rebound on them all. It may reflect the adjustment to living in a now peaceful country, but it’s a little too much melodrama which almost derails this otherwise intriguing coming -out-drama.
Le Minh does a beautiful job very subtly showing the depth of the two boys relationship with observing the quiet glances at the dinner table and the longing gaze they share at a local carnival dance. It makes the occasional kiss they can snatch outside the shower even more erotic. Kudos to his two young stars for their finely nuanced chemistry which gives such authenticity to their romance.
No spoilers here, but the perfect final scene at the airport summed up the beautiful tone of this surprisingly heart-touching queer Vietnamese movie. Coming in the same year as Song Lang, maybe its going to be an important new source of LGBTQ films
