Many people, LGBTQ+ folks included, think that being in a same-sex relationship is different than being in a straight relationship, which is, of course, not true. When two people choose to date, no matter their gender or sexual orientation, they will face certain universal obstacles. If you want your gay relationship to last, it’s necessary to nurture it and make it healthy and strong, and here are some tips that will turn you and your partner into a super duo.
Be affectionate every day
Every healthy relationship relies on the expression of positive emotions like intimacy, connection, reassurance and support. If you’re not an affectionate person by default, it’s important to make a conscious effort to acknowledge how much your partner means to you every day. You don’t have to do much, but make sure your expression of emotions comes from the heart. For instance, you can send them a text that will show you’re thinking about them, buy them flowers or food or help them with chores (try to satisfy your partner’s love language). Feeling seen and validated is one of the major human needs, so be affectionate with touch and words every day.
Talk about heavy subjects
Gay relationships are not smooth sailing all the time. Expect to come across different hard periods and start discussing certain heavy topics—these should never be avoided. Whenever something unpleasant happens, take your time to be honest, discuss the situation and resolve it together. When you get into an argument, solve it through communication and learn how to forgive and let go. With time, you’ll get better at discussing heavy subjects and come up with solutions that will make your relationship grow.
Respect each other’s boundaries
One gay stereotype is often true—gay people tend to rush and merge. However, healthy boundaries will help you differentiate between where you end and your partner begins. If you set boundaries and respect them, both of you will feel safe in your relationship. It’s smart to discuss emotional (how much time you spend together), physical (regarding sex and intimacy) and digital boundaries (texting, posting about your relationship, contacting each other’s friends, etc.) before things get serious, but it’s never too late to handle this issue.
Cook together
We all love to come home from a long day at the office and whip out junk food like burgers or chicken nuggets as we watch Netflix. This precious time with your partner should not be eradicated, but you might consider taking it to the minimum. Instead of feeding the bad habits of Netflix and junk food, you can work on good habits like making dinner together from scratch. Once a week at least, do grocery shopping and buy a few healthy ingredients for a homemade soup, steak and veggies or a tofu salad. To get even more out of your healthy diet, you can look into vitamins and supplements and take them when you get up to start the day on the right foot. These supplements are good for general health, but can also benefit specific ailments or help your performance at the gym.
Exercise together
Couples who pump iron together, stay together. Staying healthy as a couple extends to your physical health as well, so make sure to accompany your good diet habits with regular exercise. You can find a gay-friendly gym where you can be 100% relaxed and safe and kill every workout you schedule. Even if you have different workout goals (one of you might want to lose a few pounds and the other might want to put on some muscle) you can still commute to the gym, do your warm-ups together, spot each other, be there to cheer and share the victories. It is a simple solution to spend more quality time together, get help with lifestyle resolutions and be more involved in each other’s lives and future goals.
When you nurture each other emotionally, mentally and physically, you can expect to build a strong partnership and friendship with firm foundations. Gay couples who handle these things in their relationship will become a couple for the books.
QUEERGURU Lifestyle Editor PETER MINKOFF is a gay health and lifestyle writer at QUEER VOICES magazine. Besides writing, he worked as a freelance fashion stylist in Europe and Australia. A true craft beer and soy latte aficionado, he loves spending his days at the beach and visiting second hand stores on a daily basis. Follow Peter on TWITTER for more tips.
