This is a fascinating, award-winning documentary about gender, narcissism, and self-love.
How do we look in the mirror? Do we allow ourselves a narcissistic or even covetous view? And how is it influenced by our gender and/or socialisation? Are we able to love ourselves and our reflection? And why do lesbians often have a particularly difficult relationship with narcissism?
Berlin-based filmmaker Toni Karat throws these questions and more to us and their interviewees in this deeply analytical documentary. They speak to about 30 people – lesbians, porn actors, trans men, sex workers, non-binary folk, and gender non-conformists, including many faces from Berlin’s radical and sex-positive scene. The resulting conversations are a comprehensive dissection of how our self-worth and esteem are formed.
Everyone has a different interpretation of narcissism. The official Oxford English dictionary defines is as ‘an excessive interest in, or admiration of oneself and one’s physical appearance.’ The word ‘excessive’ in this definition is what gives narcissism a generally bad rap. What, however, if you are from one of society’s many marginalised minority groups of people, and don’t feel too good about yourself? In such instances, surely some level of narcissism is a good thing and can be key to survival. ie: narcissism used for oneself rather than projected onto other people. Toni presents the case for narcissism and also discusses other considerations necessary to create and love one’s image as a queer person and, in particular, as a lesbian.
Inspired by Oscar Wilde’s gothic literature classic, ‘The Picture of Dorian Grey’, Karat invites the interviewees to analyze narcissism and its relation to gender, gender identity, self-love, self-hate, socialisation and exposure. The resulting conversations are both inspiring and thought-provoking. The case is made for some level of narcissism to be an important tool in establishing a positive relationship with one’s gender, sexuality and appearance if you’re a minority. It removes societally-imposed restrictions and promotes self-love. The film is beautifully shot, with some great vintage footage, including an analysis of 70’s porn star narcissist Peter Berlin. There is also a relaxed confidence and warmth emanating from the interviewees in the Berlin attic where the interviews take place. An important piece of work.
As Oscar Wilde famously said, ‘Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.’
P.S. Ris Fatah reviewed NARCISSISM at BFI FLare in London
Queerguru’s Contributing Editor Ris Fatah is a successful fashion/luxury business consultant (when he can be bothered) who divides and wastes his time between London and Ibiza. He is a lover of all things queer, feminist, and human rights in general. @ris.fatah
