The Doctor was so overwhelmed by the demand for this service that he employed Granville Mortimer, a young ambitious Doctor who had become fired from so many other positions as he keeps question the orthodoxy of his senior colleagues. Young Mortimer was soon a big hit with all the old dears who could not get enough of his talented dexterous hand, so much so that he very quickly got carpal syndrome and was unable to butter toast let alone satisfy the craving of his ‘patients’.
Meanwhile Dalrywmple sees in the young man not only a worthy successor for the rather lucrative ‘practice’ but also a potential husband for Emily his younger daughter. His older daughter Charlotte is another matter entirely. Against her father’s wishes she has set up a Settlement House as a home for prostitutes and the poor homeless even though its his money she uses to fund her schemes. She actually thinks her father is a crackpot and charlatan for ‘exploiting’ these desperate and lonely old women, so eventually she storms off in a huff, and he cuts off access to the money she needs to keep the Home open.
Mortimer’s best friend Edmund is an amateur inventor and one night while the two are testing his latest prototype of an electric duster, Mortimer gets a flash of inspiration. The duster is quickly forgotten and the whirling machine is converted into what becomes the first ever vibrator. It saves Mortimer’s job and his overworked hand and makes the old women ecstatic and the three men very rich indeed.
It’s a silly story so the end is equally rather nonsensical with Mortimer dumping the tame daughter for the fiery one and then spending all his new found wealth keeping the (ex) hookers happy by funding their Home.
It is all very lightweight and so ridiculous that it had to be true, and is it kind of. History does confirm that it was one Mortimer Granville that patented a ‘personal massager’ when back then, but the rest of the story should be taken with far more than a pinch of salt if you want to sit through this.
Two notable things about this run-of-the-mill not very funny rom-com. Firstly on the plus side, Maggie Gyllenhaal as Charlotte is the only one that really sparkles in this piece, whilst on the other (minus) side there is the very scary sight of a post-operative Rupert Everett whose beard couldn’t hide his pumped and pulled face. Really Rupert haven’t you got one real friend to tell you what an absolute mess you have made of your looks? It was the only thing in the movie that was truly hysterical!
★★★★★★
Labels: romantic comedy
