So you finally decided to settle down and get hitched. Or someone you’re close with has done it. This is definitely an occasion worth celebrating, so the happy couple can kick off the wedding planning and announce the engagement to everyone they care about. An engagement party is not obligatory, but it’s a great way for everyone to get on board (looking at you, homophobic family members) and get to know each other. But if this is your first contact with planning an engagement party, you might be having a few questions. Get them answered here!
Who is hosting this fabulous event?
Once upon a time, it was the rule that the bride’s family hosts the engagement party. However, since this case includes either two brides or no brides at all, you can throw all rules out the window. Any family member or friend can host, and if the couple wants to do it alone, that’s also perfectly acceptable.
When to plan it?
People who’re getting married are usually super happy to share it with the world, but a delay to the engagement party might be a smart idea. This will give everyone time to enjoy the engagement in peace without having to plan a party. According to etiquette, an engagement party should be held within two to four months of popping the question. This will give grooms or brides enough time to process everything, plan the party and avoid any engagement party mistakes.
Who to invite?
Of course, you’re not going to invite everyone who’s coming to the wedding to attend the engagement party as well. Usually, people choose to celebrate with those who belong to the wedding party, as well as close family and friends. If some couples want to separate the friend world from the family world, they might consider two parties (many gay couples need to make these compromises sadly).
Send out invitations
Invitations are a must for every engagement party, so make sure to send them out a few weeks before the event. Today, making these is easier than ever for gay couples since some websites and stores offer gay and lesbian engagement party invitations. Some even do unisex ones that can be 100% customised to fit your event.
Consider something out of the box
People usually choose a classic evening engagement party, but gays have never been the ones to conform. If the happy couple loves brunch, you can think outside the box and opt for a brunch-themed engagement party. This is a great budget option since brunch is always more affordable than dinner, yet it’s still elegant and fabulous. You can set up a mimosa station and serve various brunch staples like pancakes, waffles and fruit and meat platters. If your party is being sober, there are many super tasty cocktails you can make with non alcoholic drinks and no one will even know the difference. This is a great solution for early brunch parties.
Hop on a theme
An evening engagement party also needs a theme (LGBTQ community lives for themes) so a casino night or a world-traveler theme might be the one for you. Make sure it’s something both sides of the couple love and is suitable for all people who are invited.
Don’t forget entertainment
Celebrate the couple with plenty of dancing, singing and chatting, but when the spirits get a bit low, you can liven up the event with a few party games. If you’re hosting a backyard party, classic games like cornhole are usually fan favorite. A vintage party might benefit from a fun retro trivia question round.
Worried about COVID-19?
If your country or state still doesn’t allow gatherings, you can think outside the box once again and organize a virtual engagement party. This allows everyone to chat and socialize, but safely. If there are many people “attending” your virtual party, break them into smaller groups and spend time with each one. Provide groups with subjects to talk about or games to play until you’re mingling with other guests.
No matter if you’re a part of the gay couple that’s celebrating the engagement or a caring family member/friend, with these tips, you will get to throw a gay engagement party for the books!
QUEERGURU Correspondent PETER MINKOFF is a gay health and lifestyle writer at QUEER VOICES magazine.
Besides writing, he worked as a freelance fashion stylist in Europe and Australia. A true craft beer and soy latte
aficionado, he loves spending his days at the beach and visiting second hand stores on a daily basis.
Follow Peter on TWITTER for more tips.