From the opening scenes of Linda Bloodworth-Thomason’s heartbreaking documentary which covers the accidental death of 29 year old Tom Bridegroom you know that the story is going to be overwhelmingly sad, but what you are not prepared for is the undeserved rancour and animosity of his parents.
Tom’s life partner was Shane Bitney Crone and the couple had been together for 6 years. Both from totally different backgrounds : Tom was from Indiana and very outgoing and popular, went to a rather grand Military Academy and then Vasser, whilst shy Shane was constantly gay-bashed at his High School in Montana and he escaped to Los Angeles the moment he graduated. That is where the couple met, fell in love, bought a house together and started their own entertainment business.
From footage of their own home movies and from the testimony of friends, it was very obvious that that this was an intensely happy couple who were the most perfect of soulmates. After the tragedy Shane’s divorced parents and his siblings flew into town to support their distraught son. Tom’s mother came too, and although she initially shared her grief with her son’s boyfriend, by the end of the week she had secretly made plans to take Tom’s body back to Indiana and not involve Shane in anything at all. After all as an unmarried gay couple he had absolutely no legal rights in the matter. At the subsequent funeral service which Shane was specifically excluded from, the eulogies only talked about Tom’s old life in Indiana as if everything since then, and Shane included, had never really happened.
From footage of their own home movies and from the testimony of friends, it was very obvious that that this was an intensely happy couple who were the most perfect of soulmates. After the tragedy Shane’s divorced parents and his siblings flew into town to support their distraught son. Tom’s mother came too, and although she initially shared her grief with her son’s boyfriend, by the end of the week she had secretly made plans to take Tom’s body back to Indiana and not involve Shane in anything at all. After all as an unmarried gay couple he had absolutely no legal rights in the matter. At the subsequent funeral service which Shane was specifically excluded from, the eulogies only talked about Tom’s old life in Indiana as if everything since then, and Shane included, had never really happened.
The most poignant part of Shane, and his friend’s grief was the sheer lack on anger on their part against the actions of Tom’s holier-than-thou family who were in complete denial of the simple fact that the real true happiness that their son enjoyed in his all-too-short life was nothing at all to do with them.
Shane is an exceptionally brave and generous loving man who slowly and steadfastedly worked through his mourning to find his spirited voice to tell his tale. His YouTube video ‘It Could Happen To You’ went viral very quickly and led to this movie being made. After all he went through, it is to his sheer credit that this is a moving story of love and not hate. I defy anyone to watch either the video or the movie and not reach for the Kleenex.The epitaph to the movie is a testimony to the escalation of legalising gay marriage and the repeal of DOMA which has all happened since’s Tom death. Watching these closing scene leaves one with a sense of hope and relief that this wretched scenario may never need be repeated.
The movie premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival where it was introduced by President Bill Clinton and won the Audience Favorite Award. Oprah Winfrey showed it on her TV channel last month, and now you can watch it streaming on Netflix or
Amazon
Amazon
P.S. The final credits are long as the making of this movie was funded by Kickstarter for over 300K and there were some 6000 donors who contributed.
Labels: 2013, biography, documentary, gay
